December is here!

It has been a while since my last post and I really appreciate the contacts in between asking how I am doing. I really do not want to over load everyone with posts.

Today was my first doctor's appointment in 3 weeks. I am down another 3 pounds for a grand total now of 12. I have to say....I was disappointed. I thought I would have been down much more than 3 pounds. But I need to focus on everything. The over all. Not just the weight loss, but becoming healthy. It's all important!

My doctor reminded me that a loss is a loss and take it. I am not up. That's what's important! I have noticed however a big difference in my clothes. I am able to pull my pants down without undoing them. (Please don't picture this is your minds. You will regret it. lol)

On another positive note. My BP is much better! That makes me feel better. And I have to say that it also makes me feel better when I see some of you and you tell me that you already see the difference. Thank you. It helps me want to keep at it.

The weather is colder now and Michelle and I have taken to walking the Bramalea City Centre now. See a lot of beautiful clothes that we would love to have. But refuse until skinny comes or the clothes start to fall off us. Which ever comes first.

Thank you

First of all I want to start out by saying "Thank You". The support on this journey has been amazing to say the least. It has only been 4 days since I started this blog and the support here, on facebook, the emails and phone calls have been over whelming. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So this is the first update since my original post. I went to the doctor today to find out my BP is still a concern. But on the upside....or should I say down? I have lost another 5 pounds! Woo Hoo....happy dance. So down a total of 9 pounds to find myself sitting at 239 pounds. And yes that is difficult for me to say. Many people have messaged me saying how brave I am to put my weight etc out there like this. That they could never tell their weight. But when I decided to take this journey in such a way, not only did I decide to be honest with myself for this to work. I had to be honest with all of you. As much as it pains me to say it. But a day will come that I will be proud of my weight and what I have accomplished and that number will no longer matter.

I was telling my doctor today about meeting Michelle 3 times a week to walk 2.5 km. He said it was great but there will come a time that it will no longer work. He said that walking is a good way to start. That I am young and will need new things to keep me active. Like a younger man he said. LOL. God bless him! I told him, like I want someone seeing me naked right now??? NOT! And the doc tells me not to be so silly. Silly to him maybe. Not to me.

So instead of a younger man....Michelle and I will be taking our walking up a little. We are aiming in the next week to walk twice around Chingcousy park. 5km! That will help step it up a bit. So till next time. Thank you all for being my support. And if you know of anyone that would like to join us for walking, please don't hesitate to join in.

My Story

If you have ever had a problem with your weight, then you know it is a battle for life. It's very easy to go back to bad habits or whatever it is that makes the weight come back. My battle with my weight started when I was 18 years old and just had my first child. I was 118 pounds when I got pregnant and I was 176 pounds the day I delivered. I can't really remember the number's in the 10 or so years following as it was something I could live with. I would generally fluctuate between a size 9/10 to a 15/16. I was around the 15/16 mark or a little smaller when I became pregnant with my second child. I now found myself tipping the scales at 201 pounds.

I had made a decision then that the weight had to go. I had read a book back then called "Protein Power". I lost a lot of weight quickly but really did not feel the greatest from it. After many fad diets....the sniff pens....and anything else you can think of. I joined "Weight Watcher's". The next year on WW changed my life. I had lost a total of 75 pounds!!!! I was 126 pounds. Wore between a 5/6 and 7/8. Life was good. I maintained this weight for close to 4 years. Then in April 2003 while going through a very bad divorce my father died. I was devastated. I was daddy's little girl my whole life and I just could not cope. I basically crawled into bed the next few months and functioned very little. I did not go to work often. Nor did I cook. So I found myself ordering in for almost every meal, every day. It was also time for a change for me. My father was 53 years old when died. Heart Problems run in our family. So with the advice of my family doctor I quit smoking 2 packs a day. In these first few months following my fathers death, I think I gained close to 50 pounds. By the time early 2005 hit, I was 246 pounds. That's right! I had gained a whopping 120 pounds!!!! I was now at my heaviest and I felt like hell. I had quit smoking because I wanted to be here for my children. I did not want to be a walking heart attack. And what was I now at 246 pounds? I could barely breathe when I walked. Huffed and puffed going up the stairs. This was no life. What had I done to myself????

Now at this time in my life, I had made the decision again. The weight had to go! So just after my birthday in 2005 I went back to WW. Over the next year I lost 73 pounds. So I still had a 173 left on me but I felt good. Better than I had in a long time. But I seemed to sit at that mark for awhile. And I was ok with that. Until of course, with life comes stress. And I do not handle stress well. I however am not one for a lot of sweets or chocolate. When I stress, I want wings and beer. Or Sausage or poutine. Forget the chicken, fish and salad or veggies. So up until the end of last summer I hovered around the 200 mark. I didn't like it but I wasn't feeling too bad. Then 2010 hit and a lot of stress. It's my own fault and I have no one to blame but myself. If you knew me at all, you would know that I am the first person there when someone needs help. So in the spring of this year, my aunt that I am very close to almost died. My dad's sister actually and life seem to come crashing down around me again. Between her being sick, business as well as a new business venture and fundraiser for a friend.....I WAS STRESSED! And I was feeling it.

In October once the fundraiser was over and life seemed to be getting back to normal. I was not well. I was constantly tired. I couldn't sleep at night. But I couldn't stay awake all day. I was finding that I had to take naps. This is very unlike me. Although I am not a morning person. I am not one for naps either. I constantly felt that my hands and feet were swelling to the point that I could not wear my AMAZING shoes. Yes. this bothered me. I knew something was wrong. So on October 15th I went to see my family doctor and I told him how I was feeling. He took my blood pressure to find that it was VERY HIGH! Especially for me. Mine tends to sit low. So he has me lie down and take it again. Still high! Did I start smoking again he asks? No and I have no desire to have one. I has been just over 7 years. Weight he asks? And I tell him I don't know. I have not been on a scale in awhile. So on I go. My heart sank. I was officially at my heaviest weight. 248 pounds!!! And I had done it to myself. So the doctor sent me for a bunch of test that I had to fast for. So on Monday the 18th I went and had the tests done. On Tuesday the doctor's office called saying he wanted to see me. I had already had a follow appointment booked for the following week. She said it would be best to come in sooner. I said to myself, WOW this cannot be good. So Thursday I was back. My blood pressure was still high. My cholesterol was high. My B12 was low and I was boarder line diabetic. I was a mess! The long and the sort of it was the weight has got to come off and STAY OFF. I am sure everything was get back into order with the weight loss.

So I did not go back to WW this time. I know what to do. I just have not been doing it. I have found an accountability partner though. Right now until my BP etc gets back to normal. I am seeing my doctor every two weeks. On October 20th a very good friend from much younger years (We reconnected on facebook) are accountability partners for walking. We meet three times a week and walk around the outside of Chingcousy Park. Remarkably, it only takes us half an hour. Once are more used to it. Our muscles still hurt a little, we will take it up to twice around the park. I went back to see the doctor on the 28th. BP is still a little high but I was down 4 pounds. So...244 it is! It's a start! I go on the 11th to see him again. I will have an update then.

And that's now where the rest of you come in. I am hoping by doing this and keeping track in such a public way it will help me keep on track. I brought it up to my friend Michelle as well and I think she may do the same thing. If she does, I will let you know her blog as well.

Till Next Time.